So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
