Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
