Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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