So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
