I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
