the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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