What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
