I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
