ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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