The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
