Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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