I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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