He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
