Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
