You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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