You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
