I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
