All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
