I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
