And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
