i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
