I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
