Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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