Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
