So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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