So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
