also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
