summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
