go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
