We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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