Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
