Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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