Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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