Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Randomize
