I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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