I'm gonna have a badass scar
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
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