I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
