Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
