goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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