look no pants
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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