i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize