just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
