So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
