how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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