i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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