I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
