i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
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Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
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DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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