reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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