you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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