Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
