Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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