I seem to have left my pride at pride
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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