1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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