i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
