Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize