Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
