The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize