Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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