bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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